ALOHA readers of Smart Women Write! I am overjoyed to have the opportunity to connect with you and to write with a remarkable group of ladies on a regular basis.
I guess you could say that I stick out in terms of profile compared to the other ladies writing for Smart Women Write. You’re probably looking at my picture and thinking to yourself, “just how old is this girl anyways?” I am 20 years old (21 in a couple of months, woo!) living in a small town in southern New Hampshire.
As you can imagine, there is still a lot that I am figuring out in my life. With this being said, I feel as though I am at a pinnacle point in my life; I am beginning to now more than ever come to terms with the type of person I want to be in this vast world, a world where I am but a mere cog in the wheel.
After graduating high school, I attended Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) for two years as an Elementary Education major with a certification in Special Education. Considering I was the only 10-year-old that I knew with her own overhead projector and 3-foot-long whiteboard with mountains of school workbook pages for my stuffed anim– I mean students – you could say that I had always imagined myself to become a teacher someday. Undeniable. Without a doubt.
After those two years, even before they were over, I felt the passion and the drive slowly continue to drain out of me. To say I was lost is an understatement. To begin to even fathom what else I may want to do with my life led to a complete meltdown… okay let’s be honest with one another here considering this is my first post, it led to multiple meltdowns. I was convinced that I was going to have no choice but to waitress the rest of my life.
I contemplated various other jobs and careers to pursue: massage therapist? Personal trainer? Professional dog walker?
I ended up taking a semester off and I found myself as an English major at The University of New Hampshire at Manchester (UNHM). English had always been my strongest subject throughout my academic life and growing up I was a complete bookworm. I was fond of writing and I knew that this major only required one math credit, (math = my worst nightmare) so I decided to give it a shot. I felt much more at ease and was able to stay comfortable for the semester
Question: Does being comfortable inhibit us to lurk in the shadows, neglecting to show our most true and authentic selves to the world and, let’s face it, show that self to ourselves? Stagnancy literally means a lack of development, to be sluggish or dull. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed my semester spent at UNHM. I made a promise to myself at the beginning to have more of a voice among my peers and my community and I pushed myself like I never have before. I was a full-time student, waitressing part-time, a writer for the schools’ newspaper, The Manchester Independent, a member of the Literature Club, while simultaneously actively completing a journalism internship for The Borgen Project (which I am presently still completing) and applying for Smart Women Write. This list does not entail my homely duties and motherly duties (to my rambunctious pups) and implementing (sparingly) the things that filled my soul and kept me sane such as cooking, yoga, and the gym.
My point is, yes, I was busy – but I was also wrapped up in this safety blanket every night knowing that I was “doing the right thing” by going after a bachelor’s degree. You see, I came to realize the dangers of comfortability and stagnancy. When you depend too heavily on these states of being, you are closing yourself off to your own true self. You are hindering your life due to fear and doubt by not unwrapping yourself from that familial consoling blanket and taking your first steps to a true self-awakening.
“It isn’t by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world…by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.”
-Ken Kesey, Kesey’s Garage Sale
I put this quote here (yes, I am a “quote junkie”) because I have made the radical life-altering decision to withdraw from my college education altogether.
I will always be a proponent for a college education, I would not take back or reroute the two and a half years that I spent at my universities for anything (they can gladly handle my debt, however, please and thanks.)
I’m hoping that with my age and experiences, I am able to reach and pertain to an audience that is around my age group, those who are struggling with similar self-identity crisis’s – if we are categorizing, I am considered to be a “millennial”, however I still do not truly know if I am willing to put myself in this box. Have women twice my age or older never experienced similar difficulties? Are we that much different?
A substantial reason for discontinuing my education is because I want to free myself from these boxes. These boxes that prevent us from riding the waves of existence are the most toxic types of boxes that we can ever be confined in.
An important part of my self-identity is my love, passion, and keen interest when it comes to living an overall healthy, balanced, and sustainable life on this planet. “Health” encompasses so much more than just what we eat – health starts with our mind’s ability to accept ourselves and to love ourselves enough to give a damn. I have been a vegan for the past 15 or so months now and making this life change has been a complete and utter self-awakening for myself personally.
I am truly and excitedly looking forward to delving deeper into veganism and health and wellness in future posts, because I consider my topics to be my passions. These are the waves I want to ride.
These are the effervescent waves I want to become.
I am taking ahold of myself and becoming accountable, freeing myself from the restraints doused in fear and comfortability, and I am pursuing a career that will instill complete and utter joy, happiness, and breadth into my soul.
This idea of diving into something that you love, something that you dream about and dream about, is an idea that too many people shy away from. Whoever you are, you wonderful soul who is taking the time to read this post of mine, you have an unlocked potential in your depths that is welling up and waiting to burst out to create a world of change, a change I think most of us would agree, that we could most certainly use in today’s world.
I am sincerely looking forward to sharing more of this journey with you readers of Smart Women Write! More details will be revealed as time goes on and, in the meantime, I am also looking forward to writing some pieces related to:
- women’s health and foods that work effectively to reach optimum potential
- racial disparities and my personal experience growing up as biracial young woman
- other topics about women and our place in the world today
- self-care related topics and rituals
Do not be surprised if I share a delicious recipe occasionally or “self-care antidote” that I have come to love! Over the summer, I plan on cooking delicious vegan meals for my loved ones, (hopefully) getting back into the habit of a daily yoga routine, reading heaps of books related to health and self-awareness, as well as traveling (traveling posts will most definitely be happening!)
I am thoroughly looking forward to sharing this journey with you!
Peace, Love, Plants.